I went to a Run Local event and Ran the 5km. The last time I did this, I only ran 2km. When I finished the 2km, my initial reaction was “was that it?”.
I didn’t take Roland with me on this run. I didn’t know how much he would enjoy it. The problem for me, is when he is not there, I have no motivation to keep going. To push through the little voice that tells me to slow down. To stop. Despite this I beat my PB by 40 seconds, and I walked most of the route!
New PB: 38:58! Slow. But still faster than those who are sitting on the couch.
I would not have done this though if it were not for the mums who came with me. As said in my previous post, we are training together. They all did amazingly well and I am so proud that we are all donning our running shoes and running together for a cause.
Here is the honest part. Whilst the other mums appeared to gallop off, like gazelles with no care. I was there behind them, trying my best. Fighting my inhibitions to stop, walk. My asthma begin to play up, i had to take my puffer out to help. I couldn’t keep going. My legs were weighted. Mentally I cannot run. But despite all of the images in my mind, the knowledge that I felt I couldn’t do it. I did it. I ran. I may have stopped, I may have been disappointed by my lack of speed, but I did it.
I am not built to run. My lungs are too weak. My tummy is too fat. My legs are too short, and my arms do not want to propel me like others. But the sense of pride as I came over the finish line, singing (like I often do) is the very reason I keep going. The feeling of accomplishment. I may have been the slowest, I may have been the reddest, I may have been the quitter. But I did not quit. In a time where I wanted nothing more than to stop and watch the boats, I did not quit. I kept fighting through that mentality.
But the best part about it was this. I have teamed up with several mums, all of us at different levels of fitness. When I got to the final stretch, 3 of them were there, cheering me on. With them an additional extra that had been picked up along the way! They were there, waiting, willing me to continue and I found the strength within me to run that finish line, to keep going. That is solidarity. That is why I do this. That is what sport should be about.
It is not about being the fastest. It is not about being first. It is about being there and meaning it. Working as a team and encouraging each person so that they can be the best they can be.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
I will be there next week. I will probably be the last one through. I hope again to beat my PB. But if last Sunday taught me anything, it is that none of that really matters. What matters is the support, the solidarity and the togetherness.
Until next time.
If you would like to donate to Cancer Research UK and support my running please click the link here: https://fundraise.cancerresearchuk.org/page/heathers-race-for-life-768