We haven’t been running for a while. Since a couple of days after our race to be honest. The weather here has got cooler, wetter and less attractive for running. I had hurt my leg after my race too. Every time I tried to run it would come back. My life has changed too. I have given up my job to focus on my family, my MA and my future career hopes. Running no longer appealed to me.
My running self would say “If you can’t spare yourself 30 minutes then you are going wrong somewhere.” But the mindset I was in was; I could spare 30 minutes, but I would rather watch a tv programme, or eat. It is too cold.
Roland and I were still heading out for walks. Randomly, when it was just me and him, he would dart off. Like he was expecting to run with me. Yet I was letting him down. I wasn’t letting him run.
So today, I got dressed in my running gear. I did the school run. Off I went.
We only managed 1.6 miles (2.5km). My chest was feeling tight. I am probably getting a cold which will flair my asthma up. But we did it. No apps, just music. I have discovered I prefer this way of running. Just going wherever, whenever I want for as long as I want. Distance isn’t the reason I do this. It has never been the reason. For Roland and I, it has been a sense of finding ourselves and keeping us well.
But the weirdest sensation came over me during my run today. For the first time in my life, I felt as though I was a real runner. That I looked the part, that I was actually running. Self doubt will inevitably kick in soon. But for now, I am satisfied, that despite not training for almost 2 weeks, Roland and I went out and we bloody well did it.
My aim is to stop making excuses. Christmas is nearly upon us. I need to keep a level head over this time. I need the focus that running gives me. Best of all I need my companion to help me. If I do go out, he doesn’t. So we need to run together.
There is always time in the day to get warm afterwards!!!